A Fun Ranking of Sports

Ranking Sports I Have Played Before.

A Fun Ranking of Sports

James Hoekstra, Writer

I’ll be ranking all the sports I personally have played, either on an official team or just recreationally. I will be ranking them in three categories on a scale of 1 to10. Playability-how much fun it is to play, Watchability-how much fun it is to watch, and vibes-just the feeling it gives off.

Football: Playability, six out of 10. While I’ve only played for fun, it’s a cool game that utilizes speed and throwing ability. Watchability, zero out of 10. I cannot sit through a single game of even professional football without falling asleep, it’s so boring they have people talk over it to make it more interesting. This might work but the people talking are so boring they sound like Ben Shapiro if he wasn’t on speed. Vibe, zero out of 10. Most of the players are creepy and you’re lying if you haven’t heard of some football player’s sexually assaulting someone.  There are some good players too, but the fandom ruins this by calling them anti-American for supporting victims of sexual assault.

Baseball: Playability, five out of  10. Batting is amazing, but fielding is incredibly boring and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Watchability, 10 out of  10. A baseball game is amazing to watch, it’s just a whole experience, and if you don’t care about either team (like me), you just get to watch people batting, and maybe even catch a foul ball, or at least see kids get excited because they think every hit will be a foul ball for them to catch, and you get reminded of how much easier thing s were when you were young. Vibes, six out of 10. It does have creepy players, but its whole experience is incredible, and the fans are pretty chill.

Basketball: Playability, three out of  10, it’s just kinda boring ya know. Watchability, four out of 10, it’s faster-paced than football, but still has the boring people talk. Vibe, ehh out of 10. There’s nothing particularly special about it. It’s literally the Emoji Movie of sports.

Soccer: Playability, seven out of 10. It relies mostly on speed, something I excel at, and I love offense, but defense is honestly dull. Watchability, nine out of  10, it’s pretty cool, especially professional, and is just so satisfying to watch them kick the ball halfway across the field. And we’ve all watched videos on youtube of some player shooting a goal. Vibe. eight out of 10. I feel like this is self-explanatory.

Tennis: Playability, 10 out of 10 (That’s a higher number than any toothpaste brand relative to dentists that recommend it). It’s amazing, fast-paced, so fun, and I love it. Watchability, 6 out of 10. It can become repetitive, and I may be slightly biased here, but it’s really fun to watch, especially when a rally goes on for some time, and trick shots are usually made. Vibe, 10 out of 10 It’s a fun game, low toxicity, usually played in the sun and can be played super competitively, or very casually. Just the perfect well-rounded sport.

Dodgeball: Playability 10 out of 10. It’s soooo fun. It’s the game everyone begged to play in school and the game in which the fires of war forge alliances, and crumble friendships. Watchability: 10 out of 10. Once you’ve been hit and are out, the tensions build as you watch your friends and enemies struggle for survival, hoping desperately for someone to catch a ball and save you from your folly (if you played that version). Vibe, 11 out of 10. There’s no beating the vibe this game gives off, it’s so perfect.

So while most of these sports have something cool, except basketball, which is boring all around, when adding up these points we have football with six points, basketball with seven, baseball with 21, soccer with 24, and tennis is our winner with 26 points. Most of these have some cool aspects, but dodgeball is in a class of its own. It has an accumulative score of 31 out of 30, putting it well above even tennis, cementing its place as the best sport.