As he gets ready to say goodbye to his childhood home for a while, he takes down the posters and pictures hung on the walls. He packs all the clothes from his drawers and closet. Once finally done he puts all his bags in the car and is all packed up. He looks back to say one last goodbye for the time being. 

One of my biggest fears in my own relationship has come from the grade difference of my boyfriend and I. This year he is a senior, while I am still a junior. That means this coming school year I will be still in high school while he is off at college. I am not scared of the aspects more people would think of, I am confident in our relationship. It has been going on for almost three years now. But still the changes that will happen, and some of the unknowns scare me. 

My biggest fear for next year is not having my best friend to walk with me down the hall, eat lunch with, or just be there when I need him. We started dating the summer before my freshman year and I walked into high school having him there. But I will be walking out without him by my side. Some people would find this cheesy or even stupid because it shouldn’t matter if I am still in high school and he is not. But he has been there for me through it all. 

But for me knowing he is not just down the street or a 10-minute car ride away is sad. He will be hours away. I know our relationship will take a lot more effort. Phone calls will be more important and visits will be even better. This will test us in the long run. A lot of people think that once you go to college you should just go to focus on yourself and have fun. Ultimately, do not go into college with a relationship. But who is to say that it won’t work while he is away?

Watching him play his last soccer games, be there in his last moments with his friends, and being accepted into college has been bittersweet. All of these little moments are. Even though he is leaving, I will still have him around. He will come back for homecoming, prom, and my graduation. He will be there more than that of course, even those moments that make senior year. But he won’t be able to come over to help me with projects, I can’t just make a quick drive to his house, hang out casually, or give me hugs every day. 

A part of him leaving hasn’t fully set in. I know to some, this would be me making a big deal and exaggerating. But he has been there for all of my “big” life events. Having to let go of him in certain ways is one of the big struggles of mine. 

There are a lot of unknowns of our future and everything that is to come our way. It has been a rollercoaster along the way, but through it all, it has been an amazing experience. Coming to my own terms that he will be leaving soon will take time, and it might take a lot of time. It might even take many nights of crying along the way. It is just a couple of months until our temporary goodbye, and that is heartbreaking.