Single Handedly

Growing Up With a Single Mother Is a Privilege

Single+Handedly

Isabella McAllister, Newspaper Managing Editor

People try to say that growing up with one parent is this awful and life-ruining thing. How the child will never grow up right, they will have issues, or have a harder life. But who is to say that if they have never been through it? While those things can often be very true, it doesn’t make growing up with just a mom or a dad this bad thing. Growing up with my mom raising my siblings and me has been the best thing that I could ask to happen in my life.

A lot of people think that when you grow up without a dad or your dad is just absent in your life, you will have “daddy issues.” And yes, most girls end up coming out of those situations having their own version of “daddy issues”, but not everyone does. I never was the boy obsessed girl who sought the attention of boys in order to make me feel okay. In my dating relationships, I’m not constantly searching for a person to fill the void of a spot that someone left a hole in. I have been dating the same person for over two years now and I am emotionally available, not closed off in terms of these types of things, and I don’t feel the constant need to seek out someone else. While not having a dad around has affected me in some ways it hasn’t ruined my life but rather made me realize that having my mom is so much better. 

My mom has been there when my own father lacked so. She has always made sure that we had food on the table, had the best Christmas, and always made sure everything worked out. Despite having times of struggle she would work extra and find a way to make sure we were always happy even if she was exhausting herself. Even when she was not feeling like herself, or sick, she fought through every day because she is selfless as a mom. She has always been my best friend, and everyone seems to have an opinion on how your parents should not be your best friend. But with being so close to my mom, we do not keep secrets, and I trust her with everything. Most kids my age feel the need to sneak around and be rebellious, but I do not feel so confined and like I have to keep things hidden because we have such a deep bond. I really do have a stronger relationship with my mom that most teenagers my age could say. 

Whether or not what other people believe about being raised by a single parent, there are good things that really do come out of it. I have learned how to be independent, self-loving, and hardworking. I feel like I have more of a connection with real-world problems than most teenagers do. I work a job and pay for my own car, and some parents might believe that they are supposed to pay for those things, but by being able to know I can do that myself makes me feel so much better than being handed literally everything in my life, which most people my age are. I have been taught to work for things and know that not everything will be handed to me, and I believe that has made me so much more grateful than people I see nowadays.  

I feel like being taught these things from a young age has allowed me to grow up right, and grow up responsible for my doings. I know people believe that a kid should not be just raised by a single mother, but who are they to judge? Everyone has their own hardships and being raised by a strong woman has taught me to find myself more than I ever could have imagined. Growing up with a single mother is a privilege, not a punishment.