In today’s society, the importance of time is the last thing on someone’s mind. People go through the motions of each day, complain about how the future cannot come soon enough, yet no one appreciates the importance of things that come with time. Everyone has either heard “time heals everything” or “things change just give it time” at least once in their life. Somehow my parents applied this to every problem I’ve had ranging from relationships to personal issues I dealt with.  However, every time my parents told me this, I would roll my eyes and laugh. 

It wasn’t until after losing everything I had that I realized how essential time was. After leaving a toxic relationship, losing most of my friends, and facing personal obstacles, I finally found healing within myself. At the beginning of this long journey, I finally felt free. What I felt almost reminded me of those cheesy pictures of people holding their arms out and the wind blowing in their hair. The weight of worrying about everyone else was gone. I got to focus on my goals, real friends, and finding myself all over again. 

I had all summer to find my new style, scent, and even new friends. My loud, outgoing, and confident traits started shining through. Each day it felt like I was learning something new about myself, whether it was just how goofy I truly am, or thinking about new goals that I wanted to reach. It truly felt like the world was in my hands and I had control. However, it didn’t always feel this way. 

There would be times that I missed my old relationships or sometimes I would wonder if things were actually my fault. I didn’t wake up every day with a gleaming smile, happy heart, or even determination to get out of bed. Many may say this is bad for someone, but when you think about it, you’re healing. As humans, we don’t have these superpowers that make feelings fade overnight. There’s going to be songs, places, and photos that bring up the feelings and memories of that time. It’ll make your heart feel heavy for a while, and then after reminiscing, a small smile will begin to form. Yet again, with time, things will become easier. The places will stop replaying memories in your head and the songs will just leave a bitter-sweet feeling. The reasons you left become more clear and you start to become filled with joy from the new things. 

It isn’t until we hit rock bottom that we truly find ourselves. Once there’s no way to go but up, we finally realize who we truly are. There will be days that things will be hard, but from personal experience, it’s rewarding. I two-stepped in a parking lot, I started going to church more, spent every day with a friend, blared music in my car with my sunroof open, even spent days on the lake. I found myself smiling more or even being this goofy person that everyone made everyone stop and say “wow… she’s really grown and is shining with personality.” The little things start to mean more whenever you start taking care of yourself. 

Time becomes your best friend in the process of redefining your life. Every day starts to be easier, your smile starts to appear more, and without realizing it, one day you will be healed. The things that mattered months ago stop affecting you. I can’t tell you when you’ll finally feel truly healed, or when the process even started, but there will be a time you realize it. However, nobody gives the credit to the time it took to finally reach this point. 

According to Psychology Today, “The problem is that we forget the simple solutions and need to be reminded of them.” Everyone wants to be happy, yet nobody wants to deal with their problems. Nobody wants to “give it time,” they just want their obstacles to disappear. However, no amount of avoidance of these issues will help, but the simple, over-looked solution is right in front of you. Tony Robbins once said, “The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”